Archive for November, 2007

You Don’t Know What It’s Like to be Me

So you want to know what it’s like to be Distracto?

As I was preparing for work this morning, I entered the bathroom to get my deodorant. As I started to reach into the medicine cabinet, a thought struck me. I don’t remember what it was.

Halfway through flossing my teeth, I said to myself, “Hey. I don’t floss my teeth in the morning!” I finished flossing, brushed my teeth for good measure, then put some deodorant on. I had to repeat, “Get deodorant. Get deodorant,” to myself until I finished in order to avoid the very real danger of stuffing Q-tips into my ears, forgetting about them, and coming to work looking like an antenna. A smelly antenna that doesn’t wear deodorant.

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